Saturday, May 12, 2012

Why I don't buy man made climate change.

When I was a kid I was told by my teachers the world was going to keep getting hotter and we would all drown when the polar ice caps melt. It was going to be like Waterworld, except without Kevin Costner, so there was at least some upside. My 4th grade teacher used to say after a snow day "Enjoy them now, soon there won't be any snow" Few things could upset a little kid more than no more snow days, of course as an adult I could do without seeing another flake of snow in my fucking life.

Well a couple years ago I come to find out what I always suspected, my 4th grade teacher was full of shit. I was literally up to my balls in snow.I knew that bitch didn't know her asshole from a hole in the ground.

So now that the whole 'no more snow' theory didn't pan out, do the global warming people say "Opps my bad, turns out that was indeed just a hole in the ground" Of course not. Now they say "Well see what happens is global warming causes climate change and weather gets all fucking crazy and that's why there's snow on the ground when you're trick or treating" OK maybe. But see that's not what you people were saying before. You were saying it was just gonna get hotter. Now I don't know a tremendous amount about meteorology, so I can't really disprove your new 'bat-shit insane weather' theory. But I do know a little something about human nature and have a somewhat decent sense for when somebody is bullshitting me and making it up as they go.

So add to that the fact that the U.N. Climate change panel was apparently just pulling numbers out of their assholes and the fact that whenever you question climate change to the true believers you get roughly the same reaction you would if you went into the Vatican and dipped your balls in the Holy Grail, and I gotta tell you, I remain skeptical to say the least.

So until I see some more compelling evidence from sources that aren't quite so discredited, I'm just not a ManBearPig believer.

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