Sunday, June 3, 2012

I just want to sit down.


Something happens to people when there is a big crowd. Something dehumanizing. People in the crowd stop being people and become sheep. And people in charge of managing the crowd stop being people and become sheep herding dogs. It is probably a necessary thing and perhaps unavoidable, but it is undoubtedly a terribly ugly thing.

Yesterday I was in Philly for Wizard World. Around noon I decide to go outside to the street to the indoor farmers market across from the convention center. Aside from shitty Chinese places it's the only place to eat around there (the convention center is apparently in Philly's China town). To say this place was crowded is like saying India is crowded. All I wanted was a nice Philly cheese steak. So the first place I see that sells cheese steaks has a line snaking all the way around it. Every person I asked where the end of the line is pointed me to a different spot. It dawns on my either nobody really knows or they are all fucking with me either way it's best to move one. The next place I see that sells cheese steaks had a line that had at least 30 people in it and didn't seem to be moving at all. So I sought food elsewhere. I finally found a salad bar that seemed approachable. I get a nice looking salad and a bottle of water and get paided up with relatively little hassle. So I try to find a place to sit, every stool around the place was either full or being saved. I see a group of tables near by, same deal. I wander this place looking for a stool and finally find one at a gyro selling place that isn't taken. Success! Thank you Jesus! As soon as I sit down however the girl at the counter and I have this exchange:

Her: Sir you can't sit here if you didn't get food from us.
Me: Oh for....I just wanna sit down to eat like a human being
I Pull a five dollar bill out of my pocket
Me: Here! Consider me a paying customer.
Her: I can't just take your money Sir you have to buy something
Me: Then ring me up something.
She then points to a register at the other end of the stand with a line of snaking down the hall over the fucking horizon
Her: You have to purchase something at the register Sir.
Me: Your fucking kidding me right?
Her: There's no need for that kind of language.

It was like trying to negotiate with the fucking Borg, except instead of assimilating me she just wanted to fuck me over. You see to her I wasn't a human being, I was another fucking member of the crowd that had to be managed. Like I said people stop being people in that thick of a crowd. It's sad really. I finally had to go outside and sit down against the wall of the building like a fucking bum to eat my salad .

Fuck me.

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