I'm not fucking kidding here folks. The U.S. government just released a statement out of the fucking blue saying 'Mermaid's probably aren't real'. What the fuck kinda odd thing is that to say out of nowhere? I mean if someone just blurted out "I'm not gay" as soon as they walked into a room you would think "I bet that guy's gay". So that combined with the fact the our government is completely full of horse shit tells me that mermaids are probably fucking real. In fact I bet you the U.S. Government just caught and dissected one of the poor fish people. So expect an upcoming war with Atlantis. And of course I can't help but think that in real life they probably would look less like the above Disney Princess and more like this:
Suddenly not so sexy now is it?