Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Remember the Cool-o-meter?

If you read Marvel comics in the early 90's you might remember these things. The Coolometer. They put these in the Marvel Bullpen Bits section where the editors would ramble on about some bullshit. These coolometers never made much sense to me. I mean I get the basic concept, this is a ranking of random bullshit from cool to uncool by whatever jackass at Marvel was in charge of this. But These rankings often didn't make much sense. The 2nd from the top of the above coolometer is Boris Yeltzen? And environmental impact studies are 'cool'? This next one made even less sense.

The coolest thing that month is 'non sexual harassment'? I guess sexual harassment isn't cool? So telling a dick joke at the office or telling the receptionist her tits look great isn't cool but just generally tormenting someone is a non sexual way is the coolest thing of the month? What the fuck? Also I see Texmex food is on the uncool side (I think, the middle is a little confusing) and texmex food kicks ass Marvel. Finally the good folks at Marvel got rid of the Coolometer, and for its last appearance everything on it was had the word cool in it. Get it?

Well, at least Marvel had the good sense here to admit how fucking stupid the coolometer is. See it there at the bottom. Thanks for admitting you were wasting our time with these. Also I don't care what that Coolometer says Kulan Gath kicked ass.

The coolometer folks. Another odd footnote in the history of comics.


  1. Yeah, and Rintrah and Squirrel Girl were cool too. Rintrah was being pushed as a character at the time - way to go Marvel, tell us your characters suck. :)

    Silly silly.