Wednesday, December 26, 2012

A Kwanzaa Carol

I got a great idea for a movie. OK, picture a guy, basically he's an Al Sharpton analogue. He's a tired angry old man who long ago outlived any usefulness and relevancy he might have had. He hosts a political show on an MSNBC type network , no wait even better make it like CurrentTV, that's MSNBC's trash bin. Anyways, here this guy is taking a look at his life, he used to be able to organized major protests and even riots over the most ridiculously trumped up racially charged accusations towards individuals, groups, and even corporations, forcing them to capitulate. He was a master shakedown artist, now he's on a shitty cable news show with ever dwindling ratings. It comes time to start putting together the special Kwanzaa themed episode for the year and he just can't see the point of it anymore.

Then he's visited by the ghost of his former partner, played by Ving Rhames. Maybe have him wear that outfit he had in The People Under The Stairs. Anyways you know the drill he tells him he will be visited by three ghosts. I'm not sure who should play them all, but I think maybe Obama-phone lady should play the ghost of Kwanzaa present. Seems like she could use some work.

So the ghosts try to show our main character the true meaning of Kwanzaa, highlighting it's rich and ancient traditions dating all the way back to 1966. But the more our Kwanzaa-Scrooge sees the more convinced he is that Kwanzaa is bullshit. Finally even the ghosts admit Kwanzaa is a racist pile of nonsense that has less validity then the watered down version of Wicca that emo girls experiment with when they're in the 10th grade. The end.

What do you think? I know I'd go see it.

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