Tuesday, January 15, 2013

We only want to save the cute animals.

If you're like me you've probably seen the "Save the Tigers" commercial on TV. I think it's from the World Wildlife Fund, although it might be some other bunch of hippies. Don't get me wrong, I wanna save tigers, tigers are pretty damn cool after all. Personally, I think if you legalized tiger hunting and simply regulated it it would boost tiger numbers. Then people would raise tigers just to be hunted, and animals people are raising don't go extinct. You never see a save the chicken commercial after all.

But it's always save the whales, or the dolphins, or the tigers. Today it was announced that another animal is finding it's numbers drastically reduced and I don't think we'll be seeing a campaign to save it anytime soon. The pubic lice, more commonly known as crabs.
Where is the pubic lice's commercial with celebrities begging you to consider this poor creature's plight, maybe with some sad Sarah McLachlan music playing in the background? You see, much like one of the problems facing the tiger, the pubic lice is being wiped out by "deforestation" in the form of the bikini wax. Given that large numbers of women and even many men are trimming if not completely shaving their pubic hair, the pubic lice is finding it's habitat vanishing before it tiny eyes.

Now as I said, tigers are really cool, but if the tiger vanished tomorrow, would the environmental effects really be all that great? It's at the top of the food chain, nothing eats it, nothing depends on it. Now consider the fact that bees are finding their number declining. That's a major problem, but you don't see "Save the Bee" commercials, because people hate bees, they aren't cute and they fucking sting you.

I don't know what the extinction of the pubic lice would really mean to the environment, I suspect not much, but neither really would the tiger. But in general bugs are the more important animals in the ecosystem. If the elephant went extinct tomorrow, the world would be less cool, but it would get along fine, but if the dung beetle vanished we'd be in deep shit. Literally.


  1. Actually, the need to save the bees is a very real thing...


    And unfortunately, they are very valuable to humans as well as nature. I really wish they weren't, because I personally hate those stinging motherfuckers.

    1. Yes, like I said declining bee populations is a major problem. Don't see nearly as much concern over it as you do tigers or polar bears or what not though do you?