Sunday, May 19, 2013

Bechtloff Movie Night: Elektra (2005)

As I said in an earlier post, I liked the Daredevil movie. I know a lot of people hated it but I really thought most everything in that movie worked really well. In fact, in my mind, there was only one real problem with the Daredevil movie and that was Elektra. First of all Elektra isn't that interesting of a character. Karen Page would have made a better love interest and Typhoid Mary would have been a more interesting femme fatale in my mind. Plus Jennifer Garner is a pretty mediocre actress at best, and not nearly attractive enough to make up for it. I mean seriously, you could cut a roast on that woman's chin. So Hollywood, being the idiots that they often are, decided to take the thing that ruined the Daredevil movie and give it a movie of its own.

In the movie Elektra has been brought back to life with ninja magic, and now works as an assassin for hire. She gets hired to crash at a lake house and wait for her target to be announced. During the waiting period she befriends her neighbors, a man and his daughter. Turns out the man and his daughter are her targets but she ends up deciding to spare their lives and works to protect them from the evil ninja group the Hand. It turns out they want the daughter because she's a "treasure" like Elektra, with means she's a natural martial arts prodigy. The Hand sends it's group of freaks with magic powers after them and Elektra defeats them all. The girl is killed in the process, but don't worry she gets better thanks to ninja magic.

This movie is so unbelievably boring. Even once the action starts the fights are choreographed in a way that feels so stiff and predictable. Garner is a piss poor actress, but I don't think any actress could have gotten anything out of this script. Elektra probably shouldn't have even been in the Daredevil movie and definitely isn't a strong enough character to support her own movie. Also, this movie took Typhoid Mary, one of my favorite Marvel characters, and turned her into a ninja chick with poison breath. And it was lame as hell.

Of the last nearly 20 years Marvel has had a lot of movies. Ever since Blade Marvel has been dominating the comic book movie landscape. Of all those movies this is probably the single worst movie Marvel has put in the theaters. Only the Man-Thing movie was worse and at least they had the good sense to premier that mess on Sci-Fi Channel rather than give it a theatrical release. Elektra is a piece of absolute boring drivel. In short, this movie is bad and everyone involved should feel bad.

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