Saturday, May 18, 2013

Bechtloff Movie Night: Star Trek: Into the Lens Flare. (2013)

My dad was a huge Star Trek fan, so I grew up watching TNG, reruns of the original series and the movies over and over again, and I even watched Voyager a lot through middle and high school, so I obviously developed quite an affinity for the franchise. Star Trek always seemed like the thinking man's sci fi to me. Star Wars was about monks who fight in space with magic powers, but Trek was about asking deep questions and exploring the complexities of when cultures collide. Sure it had low points but at its best it was an incredible mix of strong characters and high concept. And then J. J. Abrams came and pissed in its mouth.

The 2009 Star Trek was a damn mess. While I thought Zachary Quinto was a decent enough Spock, everyone else was a cartoon parody. And it was sooooo stupid. I loathed that movie. But a friend dragged me, pretty much against my will, to see this new one, Star Trek: Into Darkness.

So in this movie this asshole terrorist who we find out is the Khan of this universe blows up some shit on Earth and flees to the Klingon home world to hide out. So the universe-2 crew goes out to find him and then we start ripping off Wrath of Khan, all the while missing the point of the movie we're referencing, and I almost cry.

At one point I actually thought this wouldn't be as bad as the first. I see them wrestling with their orders to take Khan out rather than capture him and they talk about how he should get due process. But don't worry that bit of social commentary is quickly abandoned in favor of explosions and retarded action sequences and a rip off of the tragic end of Wrath of Khan only with Kirk in Spock's place. Before we even have time to feel a damn thing for Kirk we use Khan's magic blood to bring him back to life. Why rip off Wrath of Khan like that? Isn't the whole point of a reboot to do something different? I mean the last movie might have been stupid as hell but at least it didn't just rehash an older, far better movie. All seeing this does is remind me I could have just watched a DVD of Wrath of Khan.
After Kirk "dies" Spock screamed "Khan!" I swear I almost screamed at the damn movie and chucked my cherry Coke at the screen. It almost physically hurt me. Bite my ball sack Abrams. My friend captured my initial reaction the this coat hanger abortion to send to another friend. I was a bit upset.


  1. Did you see the poster for the new JJ Abram Star Wars 7?

  2. I hate Abrams Trek, thank you for this review

    1. And how can I watch you video on youtube? I want give it thumbs up

    2. It's not up yet, but I do have material coming up on my youtube channel, so I might put up this video as well.

  3. I decided to go a head and put it up, mostly as a practice run for future videos. Here it is.