Monday, January 20, 2014

The top 10 worst Mega Man Robot Masters.

You know how every Mega Man game works. Dr. Wily is up to his usual crap and you gotta defeat his 8 new Robot Masters. Some of them are pretty cool, some, like Wood Man, are kinda silly but in an awesome way. But then others are just plain lame. So here are the 10 Robot Masters I think are the saddest.

10) Sheep Man. Does this look threatening in the least? Also the weapon you get from him sucks. It's a little cloud of wool that raises up to the top of the screen to shoot electricity, unless an enemy hits it before it gets there, which ALWAYS happens.

 9) Charge Man. Does this even look like a Mega Man villain to you? Because to me it looks like that stupid Thomas the Tank Engine/Transformers bootleg.
Need I say more?

8) Blizzard Man. See this is the danger of running themes into the ground. You end up with an ice themed robot on stupid skis and a weapon that sucks.
7) Dust Man. He's a big stupid vacuum cleaner who spits wads of junk at you.

6) Spark Man. Again, this is what happens when you run a theme into the ground. Instead of Elec Man with his awesome Thunder Beam we get spark man with his pitiful little spark ball, almost as sad as Dan's little hadouken in Street Fighter.

5) Oil Man. Not only does this Robot Master's weapon suck, and he sucks to play as (you can play as Robot Masters in Mega Man Powered Up) but he also looks like he's wearing black face. No wonder they toned that down in the Archie Comics series.
Good call Archie.

4) Clown Man. I'm pretty sure this Robot Master is a pedophile. I mean look at him there smelling his finger.

3) Strike Man. A glorified pitching machine. 

2) Bright Man. A robot who has a light bulb on his head. He was built to illuminate dark underground mining areas. Because I guess a regular lightbulb couldn't do that for some reason. 

1) Top Man. This guy has the worst damn power ever. It makes Mega Man spin like a top. And it sucks. And the game makers for Mega Man III must have thought they were real funny because this useless ass power is the only thing that can defeat Wily at the end. How many people died at the end of that game because it didn't occur to them to use the shittiest power at their disposal? You're a bunch of dicks sometimes Capcom.

So there you have it. My 10 least favorite Robot Masters. Don't like it? Well then, as always, make your own damn list then.

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