Thursday, March 13, 2014

Macklemore is the worst thing to happen to rap in decades.

Even though I don't seem like the kinda guy who should, I've always loved rap. Rap had balls, rap had edge, rap said whatever it wanted and if you didn't like it there were zero fucks to be given by it. Rap had shit to say, and whether you agreed with it or not you had to respect the stones it took to say some of the things it said. And rappers were some hard ass mother fuckers. All ex crack heads and pimps, coming from broken homes in shitty neighborhoods. Rappers used to be in the news for getting shot and killed. Snoop Dog was on trial for murder at one point. Many of these gansta rappers might have been bad men, but there was no doubt they were real men. And now rap's biggest rising star is Macklemore.

Now I wanted to like this guy, his first hit Thrift Shop was a welcome counter balance to all the mindless "look how much money I got" rap. But then he had that boring preachy ass song Same Love in which he really pissed away the good will he earned with me with lyrics about how rap needs to be more sensitive. "Fuck the police" had degenerated into "Don't say faggot, that's mean.". And just the other day Macklemore went on Instagram to do a short rap about putting the toilet seat down. This was his message he captioned this video with:

ITS TIME THAT US MEN STARTED RESPECTING TO THE BASIN THAT OUR QUEENS SIT ON! LETS RAISE THE NEXT GENERATION TO HAVE BETTER AIM SO WOMEN DONT HAVE TO PEE & POOP ON OUR PEE!...and IM NOT TRYING TO POOP ON YOUR PEE EITHER! BASICALLY, TO ALL THE FRAT GUYS AND SHITTY DADS, QUIT FUCKING UP THE DEUCE SESH FOR THE REST OF US! BUMP THIS CUT IN ALL AIRPORT BATHROOMS AND FOOTBALL GAMES! FUCK A DRUNK DAD PISSING ON THE GROUND, AND A FRAT BRO TOO HAMMERED TO HANDLE HIS DANGLER! MAN UP AND LEARN DONG CONTROL!...IM OUT!!!

Can you imagine Dr. Dre putting this out back in the day? And "POOP & PEE"? What are you, five? And I just want to reiterate, he's rapping about cleaning the fucking toilet so his girlfriend doesn't get mad at him. That's a pretty long damn way from "Big Pimpin" isn't it? Rap went from smackin dem hoes around to the most degenerate form of beta whiteknighting. Someone needs to ask Shug Knight if he can dangle this punk off a balcony, because he desperately needs it. Macklemore is the worst rapper out there right now, and that's saying something because rap is in a sorry ass state these days. But still this pussy is the worst. Sure Lil Wayne is borderline retarded and he looks like he smells bad, but at least he's still got his nads. Sure, Pitbull is a soulless void of a human being who can rap for 3 minutes straight and say nothing of anymore substance than stating the fact that he's from Miami, but hey, a blank canvas is still better than one with shit smeared on it. Anything is better than this beta hipster pussy. I hope while he's scrubbing the toilet for his "QUEEN" and putting it on social media she's out getting porked by a real man. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'm gonna listen to some NWA.

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